Emotional Vulnerability – A dangerous game we can never stop playing
22 Sep 2016
Vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It's the magic sauce.Brene Brown - American scholar
Sharing your authentic self with someone you want a genuine relationship with and being able to communicate openly and honestly even when that is scary or uncomfortable, telling the truth even if that is frightening, showing your true self, even those hurt and broken areas seems to be the only way to having an intimacy.
However, that also means you are giving a deadly weapon to the other person who can potentially hurt you or even kill you, trusting that they may not do it.
There is no love without intimacy and no intimacy without vulnerability!
It’s a fact that every individual has exposed themselves vulnerable to at least one person, be it in their own life, their business or work. Since this is something that can never be prevented, the tougher question we should worry about is.. what happens when you have made yourself vulnerable for the sake of an intimate relationship and when that did not happen?
The first thing to deal with when you have made yourself vulnerable to someone who is no longer with you is the rejection. It may not be a planned rejection but most of the times it just did not work. In business, it could be a major deal that did not set off. In your career, it could be missing an opportunity that you were closely looking for. In your personal lives, it could be that someone special with whom the relationship did not work as expected.
Whatever the reason, what you will be going through is rejection. It is extremely painful and lowers your self-esteem. You must learn to move forward when you know that you are unable to work things out. You need not search for something you know you can never find, just because you have made yourself vulnerable to a person or a situation. Revive your self-esteem and move forward. There is a plenty of joy waiting for you in the future.
You are then focused on the negative thought. You have made yourself vulnerable for no gain. This feeling makes it worst. You almost feel like jumping off the bridge. When you chew over and over, replay the scenes, give way to memories to remind you of the person or the situation, you are actually ruminating. A two minute distraction can destroy the rumination.
When in rumination, remember that it’s not the end of the world.
At this stage your perception has been distorted. The situation makes you afraid to reach out. Social disconnection, broken immune system making us vulnerable to high BP and cholesterol, and loss of interest are some of the signs of feeling lonely. Suddenly you have no reason to be happy or do anything that you were very doing with a lot of interest. It’s that deep psychological wound that is causing these unexpected behaviors.
Unless you know that you have been injured, you can not heal. Be quick to know when you start feeling lonely. Since it is so miserable that it can even kill you, heal yourself as quickly as you can. Get new friends, go out and do something different you will feel better and not feel lonely anymore.
The dangerous game!
As the title suggests, emotional vulnerability is a dangerous game no one can ever stop playing. Some win the game while many lose. If you have lost, just remember to quickly get over the situation. You can’t stop playing, but if you lose, you can train yourself to not give up in your life anyway!