Make the most of the fellow feeling

Make the most of the fellow feeling
21 Nov 2018
Fellow Feeling

Their cause I plead--plead it in heart and mind; A fellow-feeling makes one wondrous kind.

David Garrick - English actor

We are individuals who don’t exist individually but in groups. At the least, we are a group of individuals who are our family. For everyone, there is also a group of individuals with whom there is a firmly continuing social interaction almost every day. These are our neighbours, friends and peers. There is then a much larger group of individuals sharing the same geography. All of these we call society. Society makes it possible for the individual belonging to it, to benefit in ways that would not be possible on an individual basis.

To reap the benefits from society, one must be willing to accept the social norms. They are informal understandings that govern the behaviour of the individuals in the community. They are often acceptable group conduct as well as individuals perception of particular group conduct. Social norms can be cultural products like values, customs, and traditions. Basically, they represent an individual’s basic knowledge of what others in the group do and think they should do. This mental representation of the appropriate behaviour in a group promotes harmony.

Rudeness merely is lack of manners, the knowledge of whether or not a behaviour is socially acceptable. Manners are both cross-culturally common, and different. Rudeness is to be unable to align one’s action with the social norms. Many times it is the unwillingness to align with the social standards of what is socially acceptable.

Consciously rude

People sometimes willfully and intentionally employ rude behaviours to achieve a goal. Skillfully choosing when and how to be rude may indicate a person’s ability to deal with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations.

Rude speech is one example where a rude speaker tries to accomplish two things: to vent negative feelings and/or to get power. What is considered a rude speech depends on the culture, the place of the event, and the speaker’s social position in the culture. Failing to speak can also be rude.

Behaviours can also be rude. This also depends on the context, including time, place, and culture. Failing to dress appropriately, making noise, playing loud music, yawning, coughing or sneezing without covering the mount are a few behaviours considered rude. Two other most common examples of rudeness are bullying and snobbery.

Signs of rudeness

Causing hurt or inconvenience to other people and not showing consideration for their needs. Showing or feeling no concern for others. Purposely causing others to feel resentful, upset or annoyed. Not having or showing good manners. Making an embarrassing act or a remark in a social situation by having no skill and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues. Using extremely offensive and profane language. Violating a restrictive social custom.

These signs of rudeness make it evident that someone who is rude doesn’t strongly feel attached to the society. In other words, they don’t tend to believe in the benefits the society has to offer, which would not be possible on an individual basis. Learning to embrace humanity builds a strong sympathy and fellowship between people based on shared experiences or feelings. Rudeness would, therefore, be not possible. Let’s make the most of the fellow feeling.


Abilash Praveen

I have over a decade of experience in technology and business. It is my passion for the development of the rural and the underprivileged in the society that has driven me towards contributing the wealth of my professional and personal experiences for the welfare of the society.