Being kind is one of it’s kind
11 Nov 2018
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain - American writer
If you are kind, chances are that you have a lot of friends. If you are not that kind, you might be trying to figure out what’s wrong with you that you don’t have that many friends. Kind people don’t appear to socialise as much as you do, but yet they have more friends than you do. What is this kindness? What characteristics does it have? Let’s deep dive for a few minutes to see if we can harvest a pearl.
First of all, you need friends to be friendly. It does make perfect sense, doesn’t it? Well, that’s not entirely true if we know what being friendly really means. Being friendly is not having a few people at your side to support you at any cost. You can be friendly to strangers. Even to your foes. So how does that work?
Being friendly starts with your mind. It’s easy being friends with someone who agrees with you. Not so easy when someone disagrees. Even tougher when someone opposes. Imagine you encounter a situation where someone has an opposing feeling than you do. Or their need at that context being opposite to yours. The usual human tendency is to get face to face with an intent to argue. To show your disagreement, if not tell it. People who are kind, on the other hand, are conscious not to allow anything that would get them into a state of mind experiencing this clash.
We live in a competitive world. Everything around us in one way or the other keep competing with each other. You need to fight to get your car into a safe parking lot, arrive early to the checkout counter in a shopping mall, make more money than your neighbour or your relative who lives in another country, etc. Like it or not we are forced to run in this competition. However, the key is not to take the competition too seriously. You definitely need to make progress. But not necessarily like or more than someone else. Everyone is unique. Kindness is when you realise this fact and compete, allowing everyone to win including yourself.
People who are kind are just a human as you are. They have their own disagreements and beliefs. How do they get around in differences? It’s simple. They just don’t show their conflicts. They don’t make you feel like they are disagreeing with you. They are conscious not to let anything occur that would potentially lead to cause aversion between people. They value their association with people much more than their disagreements or beliefs.
People who are kind are generally known for their generosity. They always show a readiness to give more of their time, money and material. More than that is strictly necessary. More than that was expected. You can be generous and not friendly. But you can’t be friendly and not generous. This is again because they value their association with people more than their possession of time or wealth.
We are often defensive. You may not be arrogant or offensive but more likely defending yourself all the time. Who wouldn’t like not to be harmed? Who wouldn’t want not to be inconvenient? Being considerate is just the opposite. You’d always be careful not to cause any inconvenience to others. You’d be keen not to harm others. This is one of the beautiful qualities of kindness.
Being kind is often one way. You can never be kind and expect reciprocation. Being kind is one of it’s kind!